How to Stop Complaining
What are you complaining about these days?
Gas prices, inflation, political weakness, customer service, traffic, bosses, co-workers, poor officiating against your favorite team, long articles?
Two prison inmates were standing in the cafeteria line getting lunch...One inmate said to the other inmate, "When I was governor, the food was much better!"
Everybody complains.
Author Jason Leister stated, “Most of the world has been trained to complain… From my perspective, complaining is one of the most destructive acts we can perpetuate upon ourselves. Because complaining, the very act of choosing NOT to fully accept what is, leads you down the path towards a fantasy land where you actually pretend that YOU are not the responsible party for everything in your sphere of reality.”
How can we reduce the silly complaining in our lives? Let’s look at some ideas from a story in the life of Moses.
How to Stop Complaining:
1. Remember what God has already done for you.
“Then the whole community of Israel set out from Elim and journeyed into the wilderness of Sin, between Elim and Mount Sinai. They arrived there on the fifteenth day of the second month, one month after leaving the land of Egypt. There, too, the whole community of Israel complained about Moses and Aaron.”
Exodus 16:1-2 (NLT)
We have a tendency to complain, we are prone and eager to whine. And it makes sense. Life isn’t perfect. Sometimes we just need to vent. Validation feels good. And another view helps.
But it is amazing how easily complaining emerges. The Israelites had been miraculously freed from slavery and rescued by God. But in just one month everyone was complaining and grumbling. One month.
We are inclined to complain because we are inclined to forget. We forget that ten percent of the world’s population doesn’t have access to clean drinking water. Three billion people don’t have internet access. We live in a what have you done for me lately world. Vladimir Putin isn’t trying to invade our city.
Remembering what God has done for us has to be a daily exercise. Take a minute and list ten things you are thankful for—remember ten things God has given to you. Do this daily and complaining may subside.
2. Stop overstating.
“If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt,” they moaned. “There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death.”
Exodus 16:3 (NLT)
A great way to minimize our complaints is to stop exaggerating them. The Israelites complained that they were going to starve to death. Seriously?
They like us are masters of the overstatement. Its not as bad as the news says it is, so let’s be more honest about what really happened.
3. Expect God to provide…and expect him to provide unexpectedly.
“Then Moses added, “The Lord will give you meat to eat in the evening and bread to satisfy you in the morning, for he has heard all your complaints against him…”Then Moses said to Aaron, “Announce this to the entire community of Israel: ‘Present yourselves before the Lord, for he has heard your complaining.’” And as Aaron spoke to the whole community of Israel, they looked out toward the wilderness. There they could see the awesome glory of the Lord in the cloud.
Then the Lord said to Moses, “I have heard the Israelites’ complaints. Now tell them, ‘In the evening you will have meat to eat, and in the morning you will have all the bread you want. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.’” That evening vast numbers of quail flew in and covered the camp. And the next morning the area around the camp was wet with dew. When the dew evaporated, a flaky substance as fine as frost blanketed the ground. The Israelites were puzzled when they saw it. “What is it?” they asked each other. They had no idea what it was.”
Exodus 16:8-15 (NLT)
Complaining is stating our lack of faith in God. Grumbling is criticizing God for not acting on our timetable and according to our ideas.
God always comes through, and he always come through unexpectedly. We complain because we don’t see his provision coming. He uses long-lost brothers, burning bushes, plagues, Red Sea partings and even strange free food to take care of us. We may see that more clearly if we stopped demanding our plans be employed instead of his.
4. Think needs instead of wants.
“These are the Lord’s instructions: Each household should gather as much as it needs. Pick up two quarts for each person in your tent.” So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed. Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.”
Exodus 16:16-19 (NLT)
I suspect the vast majority of our complaints have to do with us not receiving wants, instead of not receiving what we actually need.
Have you ever watched any of those house hunting shows on HGTV? It is amazing what some folks characterize as “must haves!” Now I get it, the producers over-dramatize the interactions to create tension. But I stopped watching those programs when one buyer complained incessantly because the laundry room was not immediately next to the main bedroom!
Check out this graph on needs versus wants:
Notice that “Complain” isn’t part of any solution.
5. Stop making things worse.
“But some of them didn’t listen and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Moses was very angry with them.”
Exodus 16:20 (NLT)
Complaining tends to just multiply the maggots.
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky!"
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, "And get me another whisky!"
Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such treatment, the man tries the parrots approach, "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it now!"
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"
Dan Sullivan says, “Creators don’t complain; complainers don’t create.”
6. Take a Sabbath.
“On the sixth day, they gathered twice as much as usual—four quarts for each person instead of two. Then all the leaders of the community came and asked Moses for an explanation. 23 He told them, “This is what the Lord commanded: Tomorrow will be a day of complete rest, a holy Sabbath day set apart for the Lord. So bake or boil as much as you want today, and set aside what is left for tomorrow.” So they put some aside until morning, just as Moses had commanded. And in the morning the leftover food was wholesome and good, without maggots or odor. Moses said, “Eat this food today, for today is a Sabbath day dedicated to the Lord. There will be no food on the ground today. You may gather the food for six days, but the seventh day is the Sabbath. There will be no food on the ground that day.” Some of the people went out anyway on the seventh day, but they found no food. The Lord asked Moses, “How long will these people refuse to obey my commands and instructions? They must realize that the Sabbath is the Lord’s gift to you. That is why he gives you a two-day supply on the sixth day, so there will be enough for two days. On the Sabbath day you must each stay in your place. Do not go out to pick up food on the seventh day.” So the people did not gather any food on the seventh day.”
Exodus 16:22-30 (NLT)
Sabbath is a verb, it means to stop, cease or keep, and it is a necessary rhythm of life. God took a Sabbath, and he made one of the Ten Commandments to take a Sabbath. Three times in the Old Testament we’re told that failure to keep the Sabbath resulted in the death penalty. Wow! In Exodus 16 he showed his people how seriously he was about it by providing two days of food on the sixth day and resting on the seventh.
Constant complaining is probably a sign that we are tired, controlling and narcissistic. To stop complaining, maybe we should shut up and take a day off!
7. Pray.
Instead of complaining, humbly ask God for help.
“Then the Lord said to Moses, “I have heard the Israelites’ complaints. Now tell them, ‘In the evening you will have meat to eat, and in the morning you will have all the bread you want. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.’”
Exodus 16:11-12 (NLT)
God met his people’s needs. And he will meet ours. Wouldn’t it be better if we simply asked him for help, instead of acting petulant and grumpy a good bit of the time?
We can reduce our complaining and increase our gratitude.
Any complaints about this article can be sent to J.D. Pearring, care of the “Complaint Department!”