Exhausted?
When I first heard about the possibility of a drastic two-week shelter-in-place order, part of me was intrigued. “I’m tired. I’ve been pushing it pretty hard,” I thought. “A couple weeks at home with no travel might actually be nice.”
Then the directive arrived. It’s been in effect for over twenty days now, and I’m even more exhausted.
So are many of the people, pastors, and planters I’ve been in contact with recently. We are tired out, worn out, wiped out and some of us are on the verge of burn out.
We are staying at home, so why are we so tired? There is no commute - why the weariness?
There are some facts behind our fatigue.
• The Coronavirus is an incredible burden. There’s obviously something depleting about impending death, doom, and financial disaster that can suck the life out of us. There is an emotional and spiritual heaviness engulfing us. Leadership has been likened to wearing a two-hundred-pound jacket that we cannot remove. This feels like another couple hundred pounds have been added.
• Learning a new job is draining. The first few weeks in a new position are always way more strenuous than they might seem. Even for those of us who have been using Zoom and live-streaming services or even working at home, when those things become our only options, it can feel like we have a brand-new full-time job.
• New rhythms sap energy. Habits help us do complex things in a simple way. Habits turn the complicated into the automatic. We can do amazing things without even thinking about it because we’ve developed the muscle-memory behaviors and routines that have become a way of life. Many of our habits have now been discarded for a new normal. And starting a new habit takes intentionality, hard work and energy.
• Grief can be grueling. We’ve lost a lot—it could be anything from baseball to loved ones, from a job to a prom. Many of us don’t even realize we are grieving. But we feel it physically.
• Working at home has its upsides and downsides. The commute is great. I’ve worked at home for decades and often kidded that I want to move my home office closer to our bedroom to cut down on travel time. One downside of working at home is distractions abound—particularly with kids around, or another adult working from the same space. Plus, there is no school bell or five o’clock whistle to denote that the workday over. We can just keep working and working, especially since there isn’t much else to do. And that leads to another reason we are wearied:
• Many of our favorite rejuvenation rhythms are absent. We can’t head to a ballgame, take in a movie or even sit in a Starbucks or restaurant to recuperate. And some of the things we go to for recovery, aren’t working that great. Netflix can be nice in small doses. Hanging out with the family is a great way to recharge unless you are forced to be with them every single minute.
We are living in exhausting times. HOW CAN WE GET SOME REST?
There’s a story from the life of Jesus detailing when he and his disciples were exhausted. John the Baptist had just been killed, so they were grieving. The Twelve had just returned from a ministry tour—their first. It is clear they were depleted.
Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat. Mark 6:31 (NLT)
Jesus suggests the group head off to recuperate. But, strike one! It didn’t work:
So they left by boat for a quiet place, where they could be alone. But many people recognized them and saw them leaving, and people from many towns ran ahead along the shore and got there ahead of them. Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things. Mark 6:32-24 (NLT)
When it started to get late, the disciples asked Jesus to send the crowds away, but he ended up feeding five thousand men and their families.
Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake to Bethsaida, while he sent the people home. After telling everyone good-bye, he went up into the hills by himself to pray.—Mark 6:45-46 (NIV)
Another great plan for rest turned into strike two!. The wind and waves erupted. The disciples were struggling, but Jesus calmed the storm.
But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage! I am here!” Then he climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped. They were totally amazed. Mark 6:50-51 (NLT)
What a day! Finally, they could get some rest, right?
After they had crossed the lake, they landed at Gennesaret. They brought the boat to shore and climbed out. The people recognized Jesus at once, and they ran throughout the whole area, carrying sick people on mats to wherever they heard he was. Mark 6:54-55 (NLT)
Strike three!
Mark doesn’t mention anything about Jesus and his disciples getting a vacation, a good night’s sleep or even a coffee break. There is no happy ending or relaxing conclusion. They tried to get some rest, but it didn’t work out all that well.
Here is the take-away: Try to get some rest. It might not work great, but try.
I’ve asked a number of people for their ideas on how to try to get some rest during this quarantine. Here is a compilation of their tips:
• Try to find a quiet place. Jesus and his followers searched for a quiet space. Disclaimer: You might not be able to find a quiet place. Here is what I am hearing on the news: “Stay at home! Don’t leave the house!” And, “Take a walk! Enjoy nature!” Which is it?
• Turn it off. Put up some boundaries. Set your timer, and when the alarm goes off, stop working. Jesus and his twelve punched out after a full season serving. Disclaimer: This is usually the time when five thousand people contact you because they need something.
• Show empathy. Jesus had compassion on the crowds even when he was tired. Disclaimer: Some folks will take it the wrong way no matter what you do. Exhibit understanding anyway.
• Ask for help. Most of these ideas are not mine! Preachers, utilize a teaching team, turn the online messages into panel discussions instead. Some people are looking for something to do right now, ask them. Disclaimer: Others will probably ask you for help. Notice that Jesus asked his busy band of brothers to feed the five thousand before he came through with a miracle.
• Hold plans loosely. This quarantine is one huge interruption. Life is made up of interruptions. Expect things to change every day. Disclaimer: Interruptions come most often when we need rest.
• Stay connected: Jesus stayed connected to his team. Even when he was praying, he kept an eye on them so when the storm came he could come to the rescue. Disclaimer: Staying connected and social distancing/shelter-in-place do not go together very well.
• Take-out: In the past couple of weeks every time I have gone into a restaurant to grab some food to go, the merchants have treated me like a king. They are bored, and freaking out about their business. If you want to feel like royalty, grab some take-out! Disclaimer: The gyms are closed!
• Pray: This is the top priority! Even in the midst of chaos, interruptions and storms, Jesus took some time to pray. Disclaimer: This will not be easy.
Life might be exhausting right now. Fatigue makes a lot of sense. Many, if not most, of us are really tired.
Try to get some rest. And don’t be surprised if that doesn’t work. Don’t be discouraged if you swing and miss attempting to recharge.
Jesus said, “Take courage! I am here!” Mark 6:50 (NLT)
Those words might be the only tip we really need. God’s got this!
Jesus and his guys struck out three times in their effort to relax. But they kept going. The good news is even with three strikes, you’re not out!