What To Do When You Hit A Dead End?

My Aunt Joanne died last Sunday.  I called her son, my cousin Jerry, on Monday to express my condolences.  He asked a question, “Now what do we do?”  My Mom died during this same season, the week before Holy week.  I remember that next day--now what do we do?

What do we do when we hit a dead end?

We all face dead ends.  We will all face the death of a loved one, and/or our own death.  Maybe we’ll have a health issue isn’t fixable, that’s a dead end.  Or maybe we’ll face the death of a relationship.  Have you ever had to endure divorce?  Ever been dumped?  I was never dumped, but I was ghosted until the connection died.  Perhaps a friend ghosted you, stopped showing up, stopped texting, just stopped.  Maybe you lost a job or didn’t get the job you dreamed of.  Maybe it’s a financial crisis, loss, bankruptcy, dead end.  All of us experience dead ends.

What do we do?

We’re going to look at perhaps the most famous dead-end story in history.  The death of Jesus.

It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46 Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last. The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.”  When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away.  But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.

--Luke 23:44-49 (NIV)

What do we do when we hit a dead end?

1. Don’t give up.  Don’t Quit.  Don’t do anything stupid

Once our church got sued, by the International Bank of Evil.  I consulted a lawyer.  He looked over the case and said, “It’s a wobbler, it can go either way.  But you must remember this:

“There is life after lawsuits.  There is life after losses.”

We lost, dead end.  That bank went out of business and the bank that took over for them went out of business.  There is life after dead ends.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders.  “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

--Matthew 27:3-5 (NIV)

Judas hanged himself.  He turned one dead end into another even more sad one.

If you have suicidal thoughts, you are not crazy, weak, or flawed.  A lot of folks wrestle with this.  Emotions come and go; you can get through it.  You’ve heard of dialing 911, dial 988 if you are struggling with this.  There is help. 

Here is the point, lashing out, hurting yourself or others won’t help.

Our tendency with dead ends is to give in and give up and overreact.  But take note, the Bible does not end at Luke 23.

2. Endings Happen.  Remember dead ends are a part of life

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die… - Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 (NIV)

“Endings are not only part of life; they are a requirement for living and thriving, professionally and personally. Being alive requires that we sometimes kill off things in which we were once invested, uproot what we previously nurtured, and tear down what we built for an earlier time… Endings are the reason you are not married to your prom date nor still working in your first job. But without the ability to do endings well, we flounder, stay stuck, and fail to reach our goals and dreams. Or worse, we remain in painful and sometimes destructive situations. Endings are crucial, but we rarely like them. Hence the problem.”

--Cloud, Henry. Necessary Endings

Robert Clinton initiated a study on the stages of faith.  Here are som.

Stages of faith:

  Dream

  Decision

  Delay

  Difficulty

  Dead end

  Deliverance

  Do it again

Notice that dead ends are one of the stages. 

3. Get Connected

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. –John 20:19-20 (NIV)

They were together.  Actually, not all of them were together.

Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. –John 20:24 (NIV)

“The primary way to prepare for the unknown is to attend to the quality of our relationships/|

--Margaret Wheatley

When Jesus was facing his dead-end death, what did he do?  He brought his friends together. 

4.  Gain Perspective

My wife, Lori is a counselor.  She suggests that when we get down and depressed we need to get a drone—something to fly above and give us a better perspective.

Jesus made a few statements on the cross:

From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land.  About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). –Matthew 27:45-46 (NIV)

Do you realize he was quoting Scripture?  Psalm 22:

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?  Why are you so far from saving me,

so far from my cries of anguish? 

All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads. “He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.”

All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me. They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.

--Psalm 22:1, 7-8, 17-18 (NIV)

Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last. –Luke 23:46 (NIV)

Do you realize he was quoting Scripture?  Psalm 31

In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.  Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.  Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Keep me free from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, Lord, my faithful God. —Psalm 31:1-5 (NIV)

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” –Luke 23:43 (NIV)

What was Jesus doing.  During his death Jesus had a different perspective.  God is in control, this isn’t all there is, dead ends are not the end.  Paradise is coming.

5.  Next Play

Alan Stein wrote a book called, “Next Play.  Here are two quotes:

“The most important moment is always the next one.”

“The next play is the only play you can actually do something about.”

Now there was a man named Joseph, a member of the Council, a good and upright man, who had not consented to their decision and action. He came from the Judean town of Arimathea, and he himself was waiting for the kingdom of God.  Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body.  Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen cloth and placed it in a tomb cut in the rock, one in which no one had yet been laid.  It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin.

The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it.  Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment. –Luke 23:50-58 (NIV)

Jewish burial customs during the time of Jesus were different than our da:

·      The body was washed and anointed with perfumes, such as myrrh. 

·      It was wrapped in a shroud, with the face covered by a cloth called a sudarium. 

·      Hands and feet were tied with strips of cloth.

·      Burial typically occurred within eight hours of death due to the hot climate.

·      Tombs were usually carved out of rock with the body placed on a shelf within the tomb.

·      These tombs were commonly cut into rocky cliffs.

·      Tombs often contained multiple burial chambers for families.

Jesus was buried late afternoon on Preparation Day, which is the day before the sabbath, and in this case, the High Sabbath because it was Passover.

The women followers evidently did not have time to prepare spices and perfumes before the Sabbath.  They went home, and observed the day of rest.

So what do you do during dead end?

You do the next right thing.  You observe the Sabbath.  Then you do what you can.

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. —Luke 24:1 (NIV)

When you are living in the dead-end stage, you just do the next right thing you can.  You get up, you put one foot in front of the other and you work and you wait.

I imagine that Jesus sang a song on the cross.  He sang an old hymn: “Two tickets to Paradise”

Jesus said, “Today you will be with me in Paradise.”  Would you like to go to Paradise?  Jesus says, “I’m gonna take you on a trip so far from here, I’ve got two tickets in my pocket, we’re gonna disappear. 

Waiting so long, waiting so long”—that’s the delay stage

Waiting so long, waiting so long”—that’s the dead-end stage

“Pack your bags, be ready tonight.”

Here’s the truth: You can’t get to paradise on your own ticket.   Jesus has two tickets.  You can only go with him. 

My Mom used to say, “Keep your bags packed.”  Are your bags packed?

And by the way, Jesus says he has two tickets.  He doesn’t really even need one, so one ticket is for us to share with someone else--perhaps someone who has hit a dead end.